Video Games and Other Things

Yesterday, I died a dozen times fighting a powerful magician. Usually at least once when I"m playing video games the thought will enter my mind, "why am I doing this?" And almost every time the question is dismissed as quickly as it comes by some inner desire that really needs to keep playing. Yesterday was no exception, the question came and went as I worked my way through this dungeon, fighting shades and magicians. Saving and reloading, saving and reloading. I've never been much of a gamer but I've dabbled enough to experience at least a little of the thrill in it.

There really is a sort of pleasure, in video games that is different from any other pleasure. Today I was meditating on that, trying to trace it to it's root. Questions like those below went flashing through my mind.

What is a video game?

How are video games different from other things?

Why do people play them?

Before the technology existed that allowed for video games, was their some other activity which people participated in as a substitute?

what are the differences between playing solo from mult-iplayer from online play?

What is that thrill or pleasure that comes from video games?

With these questions came thoughts, images, answers. Games I've played, experiences I had and books I've read. I don't include all of those, they are a cloud. There's a reason we have thought bubbles not thought squares because most everyone's thoughts are disjointed, disorganized, and fragile. Rarely are they orderly structured and neat like a square. I leave them out for both our sakes and I will put my conclusion which, despite the chaos it emerged from, I believe still to be valid.

Video games give a sense of control to the player unobtainable in real life. We like video games because in them we can be the attractive person that our genes have denied us. We can be brave and heroic and make all the decisions that we are too scared to make in this life. We can make choices without consequences, we can save and reload, save and reload or save and quit if we don't like whats going on. The player can also assume anything that can be done in game, his character can do.

All these things stand in contrast to real life. Life has no quit button, life has no save button. Life is big and scary and full of things which I can't do on my own or maybe ever. While real life has far more beauty, vitality and satisfaction, I've found it amazing how willing I am in my sinful state to sacrifice the beauty of lfe for the control of an alternate reality.

So does this mean video games are evil? no, not necessarily. It does mean that I've found an unhealthy desire within myself, a desire for control. This desire is so powerful that it would have me sacrifice real friendship, real joy, real godliness for the ability to control the destiny of a fictional character in a fictional world. That being the case I've decided not to simply cut out the video games. I don't want to simply remove myself from video games because that won't destroy the inner desire for control, it will only force the desire to find  another outlet. I'm going to use video games to punch this desire in the face and hopefully break its neck. This will mean playing video games for extremely short amounts of time and willing myself to stop when I find myself most seriously engaged in it. That's my plan anyway, hopefully in a month or to I'll have destroyed this particular desire and will be able to move on to something.


Thanks for reading. I suppose I'll warn you to look inside yourself for similar desires. I don't know if it looks the same in others as is in me but it seems logical to think that because we are made in the image of God, we'll probably want in some sense to have control in a way similar to how God has control. Because of our sinful nature this instinctive desire for control will express itself all wrong and is in drastic need of reform.