An Interview in NYC

It's amazing how fast time goes. One week ago exactly I woke up in a hotel room in Newport RI knowing that Operation Dragon had failed. One week later, Operation Godzilla is in full swing and the prospects of achieving success are high. Objective of Operation Godzilla being to acquire a teaching position in Japan.

In the past week I applied for and asked to attend interviews with three Japanese companies. AEON, Amity and Interac. The Amity interview was this past past weekend. What was originally planned as a fifteen hour short trip to New York City turned into a thirty-eight hour adventure including but not limited to both a group and personal interview. fifteen minutes of live teaching demonstrations, navigating NYC Metro, watching a man in boxers order from Starbucks at 6am, showing up at my second cousins apartment hoping he'd let me spend the night, experimenting with Japanese Curry for the first time and a whole notepad full of random musings and realizations.

I had hoped that leaving NYC I would feel more confident and this mindset of uncertainty would be lessened. That however was not the case. I got pretty sick so I didn't sleep well and coming home on the bus was four hours of sneezing and reusing tissues. To the merited disgust of my bench mate. Certain questions were answered during my time in NYC and others, perhaps more important questions were raised like, even if they offer me the job is it the wisest choice to take it? Its a strange place to not be sure what the ideal scenario is? Yet, that is where I find myself today. My mood is less than good. I don't doubt the love of God but don't know how that should translate into what I can or should expect for my future. I end this post with that uncertainty crowding in on my mind. And I look forward to my next post when I anticipate posting something more uplifting.

When Will My Life Begin

This song is an indicator of what my moods been like for the past week. My mom left with Nathan and Sarah on Monday. So every morning, at 7:30 my dad and siblings leave for work and school. I get the house to myself and while I'm far less industries than Rapunzel, my essential schedule is the same. 1 Read, 2 Clean 3 Brush hair.

"Don't cry over spilled milk" I heard that growing up, usually as a joke when a sibling actually did spill their milk. It is though, common idiom. You probably have heard it also and it makes alot of sense. The principle is, if you can't change something bad that's happened, don't waste time feeling bad about it. 

Several times in my life, I have blundered into a situation in which someone has made a mistake they can't unmistake and they are feeling bad about. I have said something to the effect of, "well, no use moping about it." Rarely does this sort of advice go over well and I apologize if you have been the recipient of my well intentioned but foolish counsel. Last Wednesday I received word that my job in China which I had been planning on and preparing for since May is no longer available to me and that I need to find other work. This news was difficult to process and I was thoroughly displeased. Several hours after the fact, I was displeased that I had been displeased. I had cried over spilled milk a habit I thought I had grown out of in middle school. For the second half of last week I was in a mild state of funk trying to answer the question, "when is it alright to cry over spilled milk?" Humans cry about things all the time. Some times we cry for important things, mostly though we cry and get upset and destroy friendships, hurt people and ignore God over things that really aren't that big of a deal. We make a big mess out of things that started out small. We let a bad grade put us in a bad mood for an entire day. We let a sarcastic joke become a personal insult that festers in our hearts tainting the way we look at that person and the world. I let some sad news alter my perspective for almost an entire week. 

I know some people will say, "well I just feel the way I feel and can't help it." I don't know about that, most people who claim that I think simply just want an excuse to cry over their milk. The only comment I will make is that to give oneself permission to feel a certain way encourages that way of feeling to grow stronger. Personally I very much dislike when my feelings cloud my reason and they become so strong that I have a hard time understanding what's going on around me. Other people seem to enjoy that and maybe it's ok for them to live that way. I assume though, that the salvation of Jesus Christ extends to the entirety of our person. Meaning that as we seek the Lord more and more earnestly our whole personality will shift and alter and become more like Him whom we serve. This results in not just actions becoming more godly but our thoughts, our moods, our instincts will all transform into their godliest aspect. This is very encouraging because it doesn't mean I have to somehow remove sadness from my life, it just means I have to learn what things are worth being sad about, or happy about, or angry about or caring about at all. 

Anyway, I'm kinda done thinking about all that. My conclusion is; when you've spilled milk or someone else has spilled it on you don't spend very long thinking about whether you should cry or not cry. Whether you are crying or not just go clean up the milk and try not to spill it again. 

Fun Fact of Today

The Japanese Imperial Family has ruled Japan for over 2,600 years. 

Emperor Hirohito and Admiral Yamamoto

I also found this gem of a website last week. It includes several speeches by King George VI. 

http://www.royal.gov.uk/pdf/georgevi.pdf

King George VI

                                                         

Red Light 1.0

I've been sitting at a red light waiting for it to turn green. The longest red light in my short history. Waiting, waiting, waiting for my work papers from China to come. I'm so sick of people asking me "why I am still here?" and "when I am planning on leaving?"

Anyway, my thoughts have wandered far afield during the past two weeks as I have been home. Today I read a portion of Isaiah and concluded first that the love of God is very different and far more complex than I had initially supposed.  Isaiah 24:1-3 Says, "Draw near, O nations, to hear; and listen, O peoples! Let the earth and all it contains hear, and the world and all that springs from it. For the Lord's indignation is against all the nations, And His wrath against all their armies; He has utterly destroyed them, He has given them over to slaughter. So their slain will be thrown out, And their corpses will give off their stench, and the mountains will be drenched with their blood." After reading passages like that which are numerous throughout the Bible I've been reconsidering what it means when John says, "Whoever does not love, does not know God for God is love." 1 John 4:8. Christians like to think that "God is love and therefore all his actions must be loving." I don't disagree with this thought but I find myself thinking.
                                                    

The last portion of this post, was an exercise in getting to know myself better. Below are ten books that have stayed in my memory long after memories of once important friendships and previously necessary exam information have faded into nothingness.

1.  Lilith by George McDonald because it taught me that the realm of truth extends beyond the stone and mortar truths of physical data and logical reasoning.
2. Institutes of The Christian Religion by John Calvin because they taught me that God is Sovereign and that life is best when lived in His service.
3. The Three Questions by Leo Tolstoy because it taught me that, "...there is only one time that is important -- Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power. We can do nothing about yesterday and what happens tomorrow depends on what you do now. The most necessary man is he with whom you are, for no man knows whether he will ever have dealings with any one else: and the most important affair is, to do him good, because for that purpose alone was man sent into this life!'" 
4. Pilgrims Progress by John Bunyan because it taught me that the journey to godliness is fraught with peril but the rewards are well worth the struggle.
5. Notes From The Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky because it taught me how valuable truth is and how dangerous it is to just believe what other people are believing without thinking about it for myself. 
6. Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins because it taught me that just because something is popular doesn't mean it's worth reading. 
7. The Normal Christian Life by Watchmen Nee because it taught me how petty and spiritually small I am. 
8. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius because it taught me that a healthy body is produced from a healthy mentality. 
9. The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a'Kempis because it explains what being a disciple of Jesus is all about. 
10. The Lord of The Rings because it awakens my imagination to think beyond it's usual capacity and discover enriching truths that provide a harvest long after the book has gone back on the shelf.