Following are two poor poor syllogism proving it is wrong to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
I. God made humans to be in communion with him
II. God made humans to be happy
III. If we are not in communion with Him we will be unhappy
IV. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend takes time and energy away from being in communion with God
V. The more time taken away from communing with God the more unhappy we will be.
VI. If we are actively choosing something which would deny us the ability to commune with God we are sinning.
I. God is the only being who can satisfy the desires of a human.
II. He commands us to come and drink of Him so that we might be satisfied.
III. A boy who truly loved a girl would not become her boyfriend because that would only distract her from pursuing God who is the only true relief.
Because I'm falling asleep in my chair I'm just gonna say plain and simple I think boyfriend girlfriend relationships are wrong bad and otherwise unehlfpul. Not even because anything wrong happens in the relationship itself (even though 99.9% of such relationships end in regret remose and hurt people) but because of the time it takes. Humans were made to serve God, to love God and through loving God to love other people. If we truly love other people we would spur them on towards God. We would not hinder them in their race to eternal bliss by getting them all wrapped up in us. This goes for boys and girls. The wives will be made by woman who do not need a man to satisfy them but who has allowed God to satisfy all the emotional needs of her heart. The best husbands will be made by men who already know how to humble themselves before God and serve Him.
Just encase my logic doesn't make sense then talk to any of your highschool friends who have ever had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. See if any of them would be able to say that the relationship was a positive experience and that throughout the whole thing they were growing in their relationship with God. I do not think you will be able to find any.
Next blogpost will try to unravel how, if we can not have boyfriends and girlfriends how are we supposed to treat them.
What do you make of Song of Songs? I definitely have thought about what you're saying here before and struggled with that idea.
ReplyDeleteI. God is the only being who can satisfy the desires of a human.
ReplyDeleteUmm...why did God create Eve for Adam then? Just curious.
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ReplyDeleteCaleb, first of all acknowledging that I haven't studied it as much as I should, I think it is a beautiful expression of some of the physical outplays of love when passed through the filtration of an intimate relationship with God.
ReplyDeleteBre, I am not proposing that man be alone I'm proposing that men and woman don't be boyfriends or girlfriends at least not until they are willing to marry that individual because their is not much good that comes out of such relationships and their is enormous amounts of bad. Like false assumptions, misunderstandings, broken families and relationships, the loss of purity, physical and or mental, wasted time, wasted emotions and wasted friends.
God gave Eve to Adam and said "you shall be one flesh" and until a guy and a girl are willing to do that, spiritually mentally and, last and least important of the three, physically then they should not enter into any sort of relationship that would detract from their relationship with God.
God is the only one who can satisfy our desires, did He not create Eve? did not Adam have an intense relationship with God prior to him being united with Eve? We must be satisfied in God and love Him first then our love for all others will be ever sweeter and more lavish.
blahh.. I've tried three times to come up with a response.. and it's just not working. pretty much a highly disagree with you. on a lot of points. I do agree with you on some though... actually, I think only one ;)
ReplyDeletewe need to have a discussion about this in person... for real.
yes yes we should. When you come back from California we'll get together.
ReplyDeleteHmm...why didn't you say that before? lol I do agree with you on your *comment.* I think you're more thinking of things like high school/teenage 'relationships' than anything else. I highly disapprove of teenage dating in the sense that the world has taken it (trying people out/social status, etc.)...HOWEVER...I don't feel like there's anything wrong with dating, if you're doing it for the right reasons, and if you're in it for the reward at the end (marriage). i.e. "this is it." idk if that makes any sense or not...lol I'm just saying...if you take the view that it sounds like you're taking in your post, you're never going to get married (the you is general, not you specifically. lol)
ReplyDeleteAnd also...having a relationship with someone does NOT necessarily 'detract' from one's relationship with God. In a lot of cases, I'm quite sure that it actually helps you grow closer to God. I think it CAN, if you have the wrong approach...but if you keep God at the center of the relationship, there is a lot of good that can come from it.
ReplyDeleteArg. Try #4 to say something intelligible and it isn't working well.
ReplyDeleteCaleb, I think you've found what's wrong with the typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It's not about God- It's about selfishness.
Marriage should be centered on God- He should be the One that brings the couple together.
I have to disagree in a sense as well. I think that as long as the people in the realtionship are mature and are focused on God that instead of being a distraction from God they can help each other grow better into their relationship with God. I agree that if you are in the relationship because you want the attention it is bad. However I have personally witnessed people who were "dating" continue to grow in their relationship and are great strong Christians. I have to agree with Bre, in a general term the way this is worded it's somewhat like you wouldn't ever get married. Or at least I wouldn't just marry someone that I just met and never spent time getting to know. Just my thoughts.
ReplyDeletethank you Bre! you totally put my thoughts into words...
ReplyDeletethe way the world has messed up the whole dating system is just...wrong. but I think one can totally benefit from a relationship and grow a lot in their walk with God from that relationship. we should still talk some more about it though
so let us assume I don't disagree with you. :) That such relationships can be profitable. Can we agree that for the vast vast majority of people such relationships would be wrong in high school. Because most high schoolers haven't reached a mature enough place at which they could not be distracted by that relationship but actually grow in their relationship with God?
ReplyDeleteHannah I think we'll have time to talk about this at youthgroup. We can also talk about dancing and I can apologize in person for being such a poor sport at your party.
ReplyDeleteyeah, I would have to agree that most high school dating relationships are totally pointless and all for selfish reasons. but not every...
ReplyDeleteand you were totally not poor sport! I probably would have died laughing if you had danced :-P
I'm very glad that you came, so don't be Mr.Johnny Rain Cloud. =)
Lol Caleb, i would have to disagree with your views...
ReplyDeleteAs Otto The Illustrious said earlier, i think you found everything that is WRONG with relationships.
I think you're missing the point that people enter relationships to become happy. It isn't like they start dating someone to intentionally become heartbroken, right?
You said yourself that God would like us to be happy. Well as long as the boy would make her happy, it shouldn't be a problem. And in my opinion, having a meaningful relationship would bring you closer to God. I don't think that people are "hindered" at all, and most people DO come out of a relationship with more experience and they have learned what exactly they should and shouldn't do.
So a relationship that failed might not exactly be the greatest thing ever, but people learn and grow from their boy/girl friends, and i think that brings them closer to God in the end ^_^
I think it really is all about maturity. Yes, teenage relationships, for the most part, are dumb and focused on the "now" instead of the long-term. But a lot of people that I know personally started dating in high school...one couple started during junior/senior year, ended up married with 4 kids, and are still married 30 years later, and happily so. So I really think it is a maturity issue...if you're mature enough to handle it and to not make a mess out of everything, you're probably fine. lol
ReplyDeleteI love hearing so many opinions on this... it's great :)