NYC Reflections

Life is tough but worth it.


I've never been to a place that characterizes that truth better than New York City. For the past five days I've lived here in my brother's apartment. I eat my 0.99$ pizza and smoke my cigarette from his porch on the eight floor of a monolithic apartment building in East Harlem. I watch the passersby and contemplate what living in this concrete jungle does to the human soul. I watch the rats run along the subway tracks and think about the similarities between these rodents who have learned to thrive in their darkened colones and these humans who have learned to thrive in their iron cages. God created Adam and placed him in garden. As a species we have come a long way since then and I don't believe that we can ever return. The modern man who seeks God will not become what Adam was in the garden and we will not have the relationship Adam had with his Maker. For better or worse we have said goodbye to that sort of thing.

I walk the city parks and can't feel grass beneath my feet. The grass seems fake, the trees seem fake, the water seems fake. Everything about this place came in on the back of a truck. Rather than mowers I expect workers to come out with vacuums to clean the grass. Is this what God wanted when He told man to "fill the earth and subdue it"? Meditating at the 9/11 memorial brings into focus the reality that even the strongest must fall. Here in this city steeples are overshadowed by the skyscrapers, the bells are drowned out by sirens and one can not see the stars at night. It makes me sad in a tired sort of way.


I'm often overwhelmed by it all and my mind gets muddled. I don't like that every time I go outside has to be an adventure. The wisdom of Mr Baggins is true here, "It's a dangerous business, going out of your door,' you step into the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.” I like to know when I'm going adventuring and when I"m just going to buy milk. Here you can' t ever be sure. I have a few more days here and hope to learn more. As of now all that I'm sure of is that humans are powerful creatures with amazing abilities to adapt and thrive in the harshest of environments. We are capable of great kindness. I've watched a man with one arm hold the subway door for a commuter who needed to catch his train. I've had two Harlem locals help me push my car when it died in the middle of the street. I don't know that I could enjoy living in this city. I don't know if this city is the ideal location for anyone to live and grow and pursue maturity. If anything it seems like the city forces a child to grow up quick and then restricts them to a stagnating adulthood in which they cease growing up and just get older as the years pass.


Those are my thoughts for now. Thanks for reading.