wow, this is odd. Reading through my old blogposts is like going back in time and watching myself in the third person .Advanced warning, this post is a more selfish post in which I complain about things and prep myself and this blog for a reawakening, plus it's boring and long. If you don't want to read such a post come back in a few days and I'll have written again.
Anyway the reason I"m back is I'm going through a process of decluttering and reorganizing my life. This summer I've finished some chapters of my life and begin writing some new ones. Part of that reorganizing will hopefully include a revitalization of this blog. I have my lists of primary objectives and secondary objectives for this journey that is called life. Blogging helps me fulfill three of those objectives. Blogging helps me, A. understand and keep track of my life well enough that I can write it out and explain it in a way other people can understand. B. increase my writing skill level. C. hopefully pass on some useful truths to those who have not yet heard them.
On July 27 I finished my last undergraduate college level course and I'm currently waiting for my diploma in the mail. In absence of school and any regular work I've been spending lots of time in reading, meditation, prayer and organization of my life. Not much social interaction has made me realize how important people are. I guess I've been feeling lonely also...a very curious experience if you've never been lonely. So this blog is going to be my thoughts on loneliness as I understand it.
My initial response to any uncomfortable situation is to remove it or remove myself from it. Unfortunately loneliness is not like some feelings which can be destroyed and taken away. In the realm of feelings I believer there are three types. Feelings that are good only at certain times and bad at others such as romance, pity, anger or sorrow. Other feelings are things that God created but have become corrupted to the point that they must be removed such as lust, pride, envy. Lastly their are other feelings which are always good and should be applied in all circumstances such as love, joy, peace. Loneliness, I believe fits into the first of those categories. Similar to pain it is an indicator of something being wrong or out of place. And just as one investigates the source of pain, so one must investigate the source of loneliness in order to solve whatever the problem is that's causing it.
Loneliness could spring from many different sources. First I had to insure that I wasn't just creating the feeling from self pity. Humans are naturally very weak and very selfish and will believe themselves a martyr very easily. I guarded against this weakness by thinking about Jesus Christ and all the people who sacrifice for me so I can live a safe, comfortable life. So I safe guarded myself from that danger which, had I given into it, would only have allowed me to feel entitled to my loneliness not actually helped me fix it. Having done that I started listing all the reasons I might feel lonely. A. Mostly all my peers are gone at college having experiences that I'll never share enjoying friends who I'll never meet. B. I'm growing more and more independent and desirous of being self sufficient. C. All the books I'm reading are increasing my knowledge in a field that very few people care very much about. And the list went on. Eventually my head started hurting. That's when an answer seemed to present itself.
What if the cause of my "loneliness" was just an accumulation of information which I had no one to process with. This isn't to make people feel offended, I know I have lots of people who love me alot and would gladly listen to me ramble off my thoughts. Fortunately for you, that's not exactly what I need. A blog isn't a perfect substitute for a real person but a blog doesn't try to explain what your going through like a person who is smarter and they don't just listen to you attentively without understanding like a person who cares but isn't on the same intellectual level. A blog listens attentively and tells you back what you said which allows you to rethink and reprocess your thoughts once you've written them down.
.And so I return to my first reason for revitalizing this blog. If my mind is like a big train station this blog will allow me to release some of the trains of thought so they don't keep clogging the station. The blog is now prepped for reawakening and my mind is now clear enough to write some interesting things in the future. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, this post was more for me than for you. I'll be back in a few days with another post, hopeful of more use to my readers than a selfish rant about my own weakness such as this.
Anyway the reason I"m back is I'm going through a process of decluttering and reorganizing my life. This summer I've finished some chapters of my life and begin writing some new ones. Part of that reorganizing will hopefully include a revitalization of this blog. I have my lists of primary objectives and secondary objectives for this journey that is called life. Blogging helps me fulfill three of those objectives. Blogging helps me, A. understand and keep track of my life well enough that I can write it out and explain it in a way other people can understand. B. increase my writing skill level. C. hopefully pass on some useful truths to those who have not yet heard them.
On July 27 I finished my last undergraduate college level course and I'm currently waiting for my diploma in the mail. In absence of school and any regular work I've been spending lots of time in reading, meditation, prayer and organization of my life. Not much social interaction has made me realize how important people are. I guess I've been feeling lonely also...a very curious experience if you've never been lonely. So this blog is going to be my thoughts on loneliness as I understand it.
My initial response to any uncomfortable situation is to remove it or remove myself from it. Unfortunately loneliness is not like some feelings which can be destroyed and taken away. In the realm of feelings I believer there are three types. Feelings that are good only at certain times and bad at others such as romance, pity, anger or sorrow. Other feelings are things that God created but have become corrupted to the point that they must be removed such as lust, pride, envy. Lastly their are other feelings which are always good and should be applied in all circumstances such as love, joy, peace. Loneliness, I believe fits into the first of those categories. Similar to pain it is an indicator of something being wrong or out of place. And just as one investigates the source of pain, so one must investigate the source of loneliness in order to solve whatever the problem is that's causing it.
Loneliness could spring from many different sources. First I had to insure that I wasn't just creating the feeling from self pity. Humans are naturally very weak and very selfish and will believe themselves a martyr very easily. I guarded against this weakness by thinking about Jesus Christ and all the people who sacrifice for me so I can live a safe, comfortable life. So I safe guarded myself from that danger which, had I given into it, would only have allowed me to feel entitled to my loneliness not actually helped me fix it. Having done that I started listing all the reasons I might feel lonely. A. Mostly all my peers are gone at college having experiences that I'll never share enjoying friends who I'll never meet. B. I'm growing more and more independent and desirous of being self sufficient. C. All the books I'm reading are increasing my knowledge in a field that very few people care very much about. And the list went on. Eventually my head started hurting. That's when an answer seemed to present itself.
What if the cause of my "loneliness" was just an accumulation of information which I had no one to process with. This isn't to make people feel offended, I know I have lots of people who love me alot and would gladly listen to me ramble off my thoughts. Fortunately for you, that's not exactly what I need. A blog isn't a perfect substitute for a real person but a blog doesn't try to explain what your going through like a person who is smarter and they don't just listen to you attentively without understanding like a person who cares but isn't on the same intellectual level. A blog listens attentively and tells you back what you said which allows you to rethink and reprocess your thoughts once you've written them down.
.And so I return to my first reason for revitalizing this blog. If my mind is like a big train station this blog will allow me to release some of the trains of thought so they don't keep clogging the station. The blog is now prepped for reawakening and my mind is now clear enough to write some interesting things in the future. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, this post was more for me than for you. I'll be back in a few days with another post, hopeful of more use to my readers than a selfish rant about my own weakness such as this.
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