Christmas Tree Adventure 2010

Every year for the past year my family leaves my parents at home to make us hot chocolate while the rest of us go on an adventure to pick out the perfect Christmas tree. Over the years we've allowed various outsiders to observe as we participate in this sacred tradition. This year we allowed our good friend Dr. Super Genius Man John Vaz to join us. We figured we could use his extensive medical training to help us when someone was inevitably hurt in the violent games of tag we play each year while looking for the tree.

Here is the genius man himself with my youngest sister.

Nathan is lamenting the absence of a check in the card he just opened.

There we are, all bundled up and ready to go.

So begins the search. Pickings were slim as you can see.

"What about this one?"

"sorry Sarah, to short, plus theirs not enough room for presents underneath."

One hour gone and Daniel is getting tired, all the trees are starting to look the same.
and then we found it. After two hours of a meticulous run through of the entire field we happened upon "the fatty" wide and bulbous and with plenty of room underneath for presents we though we might have found "the one"

taking a second look from the other side.

Some of us were doubting that "Fatty" was the right tree for us so we played a game while we decided. Rules, real simple, catch the little remote control helicopter that Jordan has in his hands, and dont trip and die on all Christmas tree stumps.

Finally after a game of ninja it was decided that Fatty was not the tree for us and that it would be better to buy one of the ones that they had already precut and laid outfront. However we swore on oath and signed our names in blood that if the fatty is there next year we'll return and get it. String it with popcorn and give it the home it has been grown for ever since it was a little sprout.

On the tractor ride back we all agreed we had made a good decision.

and then some of us were just cold.

The last and final challenge was how do we get the tree that we did choose home? Since we sold the van we no longer have a massive car to transport things around in. We wound up lashing the tree to the roof of my dads car and drove very carefully all the way home. So ends the story of the Lagans search for a Christmas tree. A happy ending for us because we found the tree we had been wanting but a sad ending for Fatty who remains cold and shivering in the back left corner of the Christmas tree field just waiting for someone to go and pick him.

Midnight Meditations.

So without going into much detail I've been particularly frustrated recently. I dont even really no why. My life is awesome and in all honesty its really really hard to stay grumpy for any amount of time simply because their are always fun things that I could be doing...things I often am not willing to participate in like movies, video games ect... So I've been doing alot of thinking, trying to answer this question, "why do I have a lack of peace?" Trying to answer this question gave rise to numerous other questions like, "if I'm a Christian and the God I serve is the Prince of Peace then shouldn't I be at peace all the time?" Am I even a Christian? what exactly does Prince of Peace mean, perhaps, peace is something different and more complicated then merely a calmness of the inner being? All these questions have been pounding through my head day and night, haunting my dreams and making life a chore, doing the things I normally love like talking to friends or playing games with my siblings or eating or praying all proved tiring and so for the past two weeks I've allowed Satan to drag me deeper and deeper in this quagmire of guilt, remorse and self doubt. I think most of you know what sort of quagmire I'm talking about, most of us have experienced it at some point some of us are in the midst of it right now.

It wasn't until this evening that I really allowed God to give me some encouragement. Now the frustration is not gone, it is still terribly real as are all my feelings and as is this quagmire which I still need to work through but I do have some thoughts from my time with God earlier this evening which were helpful, so here they are. I'm putting them in list format to avoid being all confusing and to possibly lessen the prevalence of my grammatical errors.

I. beliefs determine our actions.
II. Our thoughts determine our beliefs
III. actions show us what we believe.
IIII. Our thoughts determine our reactions to feelings.
V. People must make mental effort to control their feelings, not to subdue hide or pretend their not there.
VI. We can not control our circumstances
VII. God can control our circumstances
VIII. Our circumstances are the barrier between allowing us to feel how our thoughts wants us to.
VIIII. To the degree that we can ignore our circumstances is the degree to which our thoughts determine our feelings.
X. God wants us to embrace reality while trusting in Him and so we can not merely abandon the world around us for a sense of spiritual bliss like the Hindu monks

In light of all these random facts which are merely the output of my mind computer not necessarily an insight I had from reading the word, a question is raised. Does God command us to feel particular ways, or does He merely expect us to act certain ways? I think the evidence is very clear that he commands us to feel things. He commands us to love, to be at peace to be humble all of which are at least have some feeling component they are not straight out commands they are more states of being. If God commands us to feel a certain way and yet we cannot control entirely how we feel without forsaking the world and being hermits then doesn't that mean that God commands us to do something we can not do? If this is true then how is that fair, how can God command us to do things we can not do then judge us guilty when we dont do them?

There is the impass at which I found myself and only tonight did God remind me of something I had written alot about in my journal a few months ago, mainly that God commands us all the time to do things we can not. He commands us to be perfect and love your neighbor as ourself and to forsake everything and follow Him these are commands that are entirely impossible to accomplish without His divine intervention. So answering my own question above "does God command us to do things we can not do?" Yes he does and He in His own perfect timing enables us to do just as He pleases. So how is it fair that God asks us to do things we can not do? It isn't
Why does God have to be fair to us He's God and the day He decides to be fair is the day I'd stop calling Him God. Justice is not treating everyone fairly, its treating them according to their worth and ability.

Tell me what you think, where I am wrong? where were my thoughts were misguided by carnal desires or the significant lack of green tea in my diet recently?

Oh I almost forgot, Over The Hills and Far Away by Nightwish is really cool. I've been listening to it all night.

Meh

So I'm not sure what to post about. I'd like to post about something intellectual that I've been learning about such as God's peace or sanctification or the defense of the gospel or the biblical God as opposed to the American perception of god but all my studies in those various fields are simply producing more questions then answers, questions to which I have no answers. So I can not blindly write about a topic that I have no answers for.

On a more exciting note, I'm hopefully going to finish getting my permit tomorrow. *fingers crossed* I went on Monday and passed the written test but failed the vision test. So I have to go and see the eye doctor, get glasses and pass the vision test. All three of which are scheduled for tomorrow. Its also Jordan's birthday, he's turning fourteen lucky guy that he is. I wish I was fourteen again. I'll do a longer post later when I have some answers to those questions.

Here's something for you all to chew on and hopefully comment on if you have any answers. Mark 1:15, read it, think about it. Depending on your translation it will say "and saying The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand, repent and believe in the gospel" Now this is Jesus talking and he's saying believe in the gospel. Dont most modern Christians when they hear the word gospel think of the good news of Jesus birth life death and resurrection? What gospel is Jesus referring to, what good news is he telling us to believe?

Their is my question for you, if any of you have any good topics you'd like me to blog about please let me know because I'm having a difficult time coming up with things.